Once I barely catch my footing (ie get the hang of Day shift), I'm uprooted-off on another whirlwind of tasks/schedules/priorities (Nights are way different).
I have eight hours to complete a set amount of work; yet working with people can never be a predictable factor in the equation of my day. Yesterday, I hate that I had to deny my patient a walk and bed bath (both of which are super important for healing) because I had an admission from surgery. I had a not so ideal assignment and patients with endless needs; but who am I kidding, these are all excuses for being a horrid prioritizer and multitasker.
It makes me feel terrible, knowing I want to help but just can't. Everyone says time management takes a year to "master" but no one ever told me how disheartening this process could be.
I know I did my best, but it never seems to be enough. It's hard to be content with this experience that mixes humility and insane frustration, all to be the hands and feet of Jesus.
The parallel between my sophomore year clinical is kind of scary. What a rocky start that was as well. What am I supposed to learn from all of this? Why can't I have a smooth transition like I see my classmates having?
This path makes it harder to put up a front for my patients, but I can't hide it from God.
"On hearing this, Jesus said, "it is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."
Matthew 9:12-13
This awesome verse uses imagery of physical health to convey the message that salvation is for everyone. Humbling to those of us who think we are "healthy" or "saved," however we are all sinners in need. As a nurse-I have to have that same concept of unconditional acceptance for everyone (though effectively doing it the past few weeks has been more difficult that I imagined.)
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